Best 50 Funny Quotes For Facebook and Whatsapp Status

Funny Quotes
Click to check out 140 Picture Funny Quotes

1. Hard Work Quote

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid
Author: Benjamin Franklin

2. Intelligence to be Smart Quote

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it
Author: Laurence J. Peter

3. Funny Quotes about Fool

The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes
Author: Winston Churchill

4. Funny Argument Quote

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Author: Mark Twain

5. People to meditate Quote

Mathematics is principally a tool to meditate, rather than to compute
Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

6. Funny Quote on Advertisement

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.
Author: Fred Allen

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments
Author: Earl Wilson

8. Help Others Quote

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know
Author: W. H. Auden

9. Intelligent Remedy Quote

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured.
Author: Anton Chekhov

10. Share Blame Quote

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame
Author: Anonymous

11. Lost temper Quote

I lost my temper today. Whoever finds it can keep it
Author: Jarod Kintz

12. Worked Hard Quote

If you have worked hard and didn't get anything, it means someone else got it
Author: Anonymous

13. Boss Leaves Quote

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early
Author: Groucho Marx

14. Find Yourself Quote

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth
Author: Alan Watts

15. People Smiling Quote

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
Author: Robert Bloch

16. Hyprocrite Quote

Hyprocrite, the man who murdered both parents - pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan
Author: Abraham Lincoln

17. Wine Quote

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy
Author: Benjamin Franklin

18. Idea Quote

Ideas are funny little things. They don't work unless you do
Author: Anonymous

19. Appreciate Your Job Quote

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one
Author: Oscar Wilde

20. Enemies Accumulate Quote

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate
Author: Thomas Jones

21. People sleep Quote

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one
Author: Leo J. Burke

22. Afraid of Width Quote

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths
Author: Steven Wright

23. People Knowing Quote

I want to know how watches can hold all the time in the world using only two hands
Author: Jarod Kintz

24. God Heals Quote

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
Author: Benjamin Franklin

25. Good Mistake Quote

For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake
Author: Anonymous

26. Committee Quote

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
Author: Milton Berle

27. I will be so brief I have already finished Quote

World's shortest speech. He said I will be so brief I have already finished, and he sat down.
Author: Gene Fowler

28. Craziest People Quote

Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they are crazy
Author: Paulo Coelho

29. Third Choice Quote

When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose
Author: Jarod Kintz

30. Who Gets Credit Quote

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all of the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit
Author: Anonymous

31. Opposite of Manliness Quote

The opposite of manliness isn't cowardice; it's technology
Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

32. Reasons to live Quote

I love Twinkies, and the reason I am saying that is because we are all supposed to think of reasons to live
Author: Stephen Chbosky

33. Wife Jealousy Quote

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield

34. Read Book Quote

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into other room and read a book
Author: Groucho Marx

35. World Were Perfect Quote

If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be
Author: Yogi Berra

36. Retired People Quote

Retired is being twice tired, I've thought. First tired of working,Then tired of not
Author: Richard Armour

37. Stole my idea Quote

I don't care that they stole my idea. I care that they don't have any of their own
Author: Nikola Tesla

38. Funny Quote by Mckenzie

It seems that almost everybody you meet has a cure for the common cold except your doctor
Author: Mckenzie

39. You just hope that it last Quote

It's funny when you coming in first but you hope that you're last, you just hope that it last
Author: Drake

40. Working In Team Quote

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs
Author: Anonymous

41. Human brain Quote

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school
Author: Milton Berle

42. Miserable Uncertainty Quote

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty
Author: Mark Twain

43. Create Solution Quote

A mathematician starts with a problem and creates a solution; a consultant starts by offering a solution and creates a problem
Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

44. Lifetime Of Hardwork Quote

Sometimes it's hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment
Author: Terri Guillemets

45. People Advice Quote

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher
Author: Socrates

46. Thinking about Retirement Quote

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does
Author: Anonymous

47. Facebook Status Quote

You don't have to like me, I'm not a Facebook status
Author: Wiz Khalifa

48. Women Worry Quote

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife
Author: Anonymous

49. BestSeller Quote

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher
Author: Flannery O'Connor

50. Funny story Quote

The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes
Author: Nikolai Gogol

Do You want to share these quotes as pictures. Check 140 Picture Funny Quotes to share to your friends and followers.

Are you actively sharing useful information to your followers everyday? Like/Follow us to get our daily picture quote feed.

facebook | google+ | twitter | pinterest | Instagram